Check Book: Holiday Edition
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Surprise! Blank Check has started a newsletter! Your favorite connoisseurs of context are gonna go on even more tangents, commit to even more bits, and share opinions on even more pieces of entertainment industry news because - hey, why not. Thanks for joining us!
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A VERY SPECIAL MERCHANDISE SPOTLIGHT PART 1:
GRIFFIN’S TOP MOVIE TIE-IN TOYS OF 2024
It’s Christmas in two days. You’ve probably already done your shopping. That’s fine. Consider this compendium of “nerdy shit” our recommendations for what to buy for YOURSELF with those Visa gift cards your parents gave you this year.
The level of detail here is unmatched. Griffin bought the special edition of this toy that came with an OCP Badge actually signed by Peter Weller himself.
Masters of the Universe Gwildor & Orko Toys
Look! It’s Orko! And he’s got a lil white outfit on!
Perfect Blue - Bloody Mima Figurine
A must-have for the Kon-heads. She’s stunning.
The Boy and the Heron - Talking Heron Plush
A bit of a misnomer here - the toy doesn’t talk. It’s a Plush of the “Talking Heron.” May be a blessing, I don’t know if you want that voice in your house.
No further explanation needed.
Um, this pumpkin ball thing is supposed to be for “adult role playing” ????? I guess they mean “cosplay accessory” but the mind wanders.
Reenact the horniest Batman movie in the privacy of your own home! You can use a Barbie doll to stand in for Nicole Kidman.
Full Metal Jacket “Joker” Rubber Ducky
“Born to quack” on the helmet. God, this is bleak.
Shredded Wayne Knight from Jurassic Park
Good for him!
TMNT Young Splinter “Sensei in Training”
The “Young Sheldon” of the Turtleverse.
A VERY SPECIAL MERCHANDISE SPOTLIGHT PART 2:
THE HOSLIDAY
“Buy yourself coal this year, cuz u bad. If you really bad, buy a whole bag.” - Ben Hosley.
A VERY SPECIAL MERCHANDISE SPOTLIGHT PART 3:
AJ’S KIDS KORNER
If you have a 7 year old son, and you have been successful in basically indoctrinating them into enjoying the same things you do, then this is the gift list for you!!
Pokemon TCG Scarlet & Violet 3.5 Pokemon - 151 Booster Bundle
If you’re over 30 you don’t have to worry about knowing any Pokémon beyond the original 151 …. great.
Zelda Great Deku Tree 2-in-1 Lego Set
LISTEN! We’ve discussed the therapeutic benefits of Lego here in Checkbook in the past so this one goes without saying.
Made by Mutant Physical Media Hat
Keep the dream of physical media alive with this perfect item to keep your kid’s head warm and fashionable. Plus they can support friend of the show Mo Shafeek and the awesome people over at Mutant.
The Criterion Closet Candycar®
Why not bring the Closet to you and your kid with the tiny version of the moving version of the Criterion closet!
If your kid’s attention span can’t last for a 3+ hour episode of Blank Check, try out Kid Cinema, where AJ and Hayes talk about a movie for about 5-10 minutes every other week!
A VERY SPECIAL MERCHANDISE SPOTLIGHT PART 4:
JJ’S JOLLY GOOD GIFTS
When you produce as much merchandise as occasional film distributor A24 does, some of it is bound to hit. Their book 99 Movie Crosswords—which features a puzzle co-designed by friends of the show Kameron Austin Collins and David Lowery—is exactly the kind of cinephilic crossword book it feels like I’ve been searching for my whole life. And their family movie guide—Hey Kids, Watch This!—is a delightful way to introduce your child to the wonderful, varied world of cinema, even if she’ll probably just end up watching Peppa Pig instead anyway.
A VERY SPECIAL MERCHANDISE SPOTLIGHT PART 5:
MARIE’S MISTLETOE MADNESS
Some gifts that, upon receiving, deserve a SMOOCH.
The Orion logo really is the icing on top of a fabulous duffel bag.
We all love a psychedelic Polish poster. I hadn’t seen this one before, I love the colors.
A Cameo from John Carroll Lynch
Feel like he’s really undervaluing himself here. $50 is a steal.
Entertainment Weekly’s The 50 Best Cult Movies Issue from 2003
An issue that is burned into my brain forever. I made one of my earliest watchlists from this issue. If I got to read it again, I’d cry.
A VERY SPECIAL MERCHANDISE SPOTLIGHT PART 6:
PSEUDONYMOUS EDITOR’S MYSTERY BOX
“I got these for my wife in an effort for us not to spend every night trying to pick a movie”
WHAT ARE WE WATCHING THIS WEEK?
David Sims, Host: “I recommend Carry On which isn’t as good as I wanted it to be but still, thank God Jaume is free of The Rock.
Oh, and Red Rooms!! I finally watched it! Online Canadian psychological horror du jour!
JJ Bersch, Researcher: “Christmas Eve in Miller’s Point. An immediate addition to the Christmas Movie Canon, Tyler Taormina’s small but ambitious 2024 feature includes a sprawling cast of fully realized characters, the year’s dreamiest cinematography, and a gloriously frenetic editing style that blitzes through all of the emotions a family Christmas gathering might stir: dread, laughter, ire, and, ultimately of course, love.”
Marie Bardi, Social Media: See Babygirl with the family this weekend! It’s actually a Christmas movie!!!
Alan Smithee, Pseudonymous Editor: I watched Greta Gerwig’s Little Women five times the year it came out, and it is now a perennial Christmas rewatch. My only complaint about the movie is that it has too many beautiful scenes in it and, inevitably, I feel a little burnt out by all the wonderfulness by the end.
This Week on the Podcast:
We wrap up the year - and our Lynch series - with Jane Schoenbrun on Twin Peaks: The Return, Parts 14-17.
And we have yet to run out of ideas for our annual JD Episode on Patreon. This time, we’re SITTING THE TALK. Ben gets a chair.
COMING SOON:
STAY TUNED FOR SPIELBERG ARTWORK AND SCHEDULE!!!
We’re dark next week, but we’ll be starting up again with Duel on Jan 5!
Have a wonderful holiday, Check Book readers!
This newsletter just keeps getting MORE AND MORE LIT, DOES IT NOT??! DANG!!! Great job BC team!!!!